Stuff

The countdown to moving day has begun. Eighteen days are all that remain. When you're a child eighteen is huge, a monument you could never imagine attaining. When you're a grown-up and your eyes drift over the copious amounts of things that need to be cleaned, packed up or thrown out, eighteen is frighteningly small. Minisule. Minute.

And on top of it all the holidays are coming.

I've been trying very hard to be good this season. To override my impuslive, dread-filled heart that somtimes -yes, I'll admit it- gets a little green around the edges when I hear of other parent's and their holiday spending plans. The things they have on a list for their couple of kids that is feet longer than the one comprised for my five.

We're not rich, I never pretend to be. There are things that I just can't give my kids and yes, sometimes it tears me up inside. But it's ME that is hurting, bothered, angry. The kids don't seem to care a lick to be honest. There's just some soul deep fear inside me that screams my kids are going to grow up without. Lacking. Unwhole just because of some stuff I fail to gift them.

They have enough now, I know that. I look around the room and while it seems daunting to have so much, it's really not when you divide it by five. If you look inside the toy box it would seen the girls have lots of stuffed toys dolls but if you count them, they only have three a piece. That's more than some singletons have. But that's where things get tricky. One child's posessions aren't much but times-ing anything by three or five makes it seem mountanious.

They have things to create, books to inspire, toys to imagine and games to entertain. They have friends in each other, something I couldn't have brought home from the store. So, this year I'm trying to be practical filling the stockings with socks and undies, school supplies and fun workbooks, fiction reading and snacks. I found some dresses at the thrift store for the girls and a few kids will get new shoes. There are some small fun things included, the girls have been asking for Pillow Pets for over a year and I'm finally capitulating. Cordelia and Amelia will have new handmade twin quilts if I can get them completed in time. I'm trying hard to stay away from electronic toys, things that need batteries or keep us away from each other.

I got them all matching jammies and a movie to watch as a family on the Eve. Special paper popcorn boxes ($1 for 4 from Joanns) and some treats to make it special. It might only take us fifteen minutes for us all to open gifts but I think that's enough. I have to keep reminding myself while I pass shopping carts heaping with presents and adults pushing and pulling them in tandem like pack mules down Target's asiles, that my kids have what they need; a loving family and parents that are trying to create a childhood of wonder and delight without the hinderance of so much Stuff.

We're Veterans too.

Every month I send my soldier away. For two to four days he works and trains for eventualities and possibilities that others go to sleep at night never worrying about. I've been doing this for close to eight years now.

Three years ago we started the dance of deployment. For National Guardsmen the steps are more brutal on homelife than other military branches because for us the training days that make up a full time soldier's work are only once a month. Which means when deployment stretches it's fingers over our units, pulling them into its grasp, training becomes a long event of multiple MUTA's shoved into weeks, tossed across a year. The soldiers are thrown between home and readiness and back again. We never knew when he'd be home. We never knew what he would miss when he wasn't.

Then the four hundred day deployment was upon us and those sporatic, handfulls of days we had the previous year seemed much too few and far between. During that training time we got pregnant and knew he'd miss the birth. The only one out of five that he wouldn't be right by my side for.

Some of that time the minutes were all I could get through, just one at a time. Counting each tearfall as just one less until he was home. The struggles and bittersweetness of parenting was shared alone. Other times the weeks slipped by into months. Seasons changed and celebrations came and went. Though there was a void in our lives, a space someone should have been. He was away doing things larger than ourselves and we comforted each other with that thought even while we prayed he would quickly come back to us. I never thought, at twenty-nine, I'd be the wife of a war veteran.

Deployment is more that one soldier leaving to do a job. It's everything that person leaves behind as well. While they are fighting and struggling and working to repair and replace, they have offered up to everyone that benefits from it a part of their lives they will never get back. Their families give this to the world as well.

My children gave you their father. They gave you every missed hug and kiss, every bedtime story that never got read. Every birthday when all they wished for was their daddy to walk through the door. All the tears they shed because part of who they were was missing. They selflessly put aside their wants and needs for a dad to come home every night, to cuddle and share and gave that to you instead. They gave theirs so yours wouldn't have to. Every memory they could have shared with their father and couldn't because of his absence was their gift to the world.

This Veteran's Day I'd like for you to add a few more people to your thoughts and prayers, I'd like you to take a moment to remember the silent supporters that wept alone, that birthed alone, that grew and experinced life missing that special person, that woke up every day hoping to hear from their loved ones. Praying to any and every God that it wouldn't be the last time they did.

Overload

I haven't been chatting lately because my brain is on super-automatic-overload which should be a setting on my washing machine. My hundred billion mile a minute brain hasn't been functioning well enough to give you a decent blog post. Heck, it probably still isn't at top notch but I wanted to let everyone know that yes, I am still alive. I haven't actually dipped past crazy. And I am probably likely on my way out of last weeks depressive slump. Thanks for all the encouraging words, they are truly appreciated.

So, while my brain has been super active, so has the rest of me and us.

I made pumpkin pie french toast (recipe may be forthcoming later this week).

I finished the girls halloween costumes (I might have a real tutorial for that later as well).

 I made a reversable halloween/harvest banner (instructions are already up here).

We celebrated Halloween by Trick or Treating with a friend.

Yesterday and today I've been feverously typing away for NaNoWriMo. Alex has joined me with a 1k word count he's 10% completed.

I've proceesed pumpkins and squash and dehydrated a zillion organic red delicious apples into chips. I'm going to try the dried apple sauce from the Little House Cookbook. I'll let you know how that comes out.

We're doing good. We're at least doing. We'll get to where we need to be, I just need to remember to enjoy where I am.

Halloween Apron Tutorial-ish

It was brought to my attention that by the time I got the girl's costumes finished it would be too late to share the pattern because it would more than likely already be Halloween by then. Yes, I've been procrastinating making the costumes.

Please excuse the crummy photos but here is the general gist of the girls costumes. These are very versatile aprons I've designed based on one we found at a thrift store eons ago. I'm putting a very basic peasant shift under each which will later be used as jammies or decorated for regular wear dresses. The aprons are small enough to not take up much room after the holiday and the materials are inexpensive.

 I took each girls measurements and drew out the pattern. The front panel is cut 4 times (fold in half and cut on the fold for the chest piece). I added 1/4" seam allowance to each side of each measurement.

Sew together at the shoulders and iron open to creat a rectangle with a rectangle in the center with raw edges all round the outside. Pin right sides together and top stitch along the inner rectangle. Turn right side out and iron flat. Iron a 1/4" hem along the outer sides leaving the bodice bottom open.

The bottom apron is cut approx 5" wider than the top and I hand pleated it to make a "skirt" Sew the skirt right sides together to the back and front of the waist pieces on the bodice. The ties are 3" by 25" made into a double fold bias that was sewn on top of the seam of the top and skirt.

I used a scrap piece of white and navy blue bias tape (because that's what I had on hand) to creat the little crossed bodice on the front of Emmy's. She's Little Red Riding Hood. Her peasant underdress will be white and I will be making a red fleece hooded capelet for her.

Olivia is going to be Alice in Wonderland. I used very inexpensive white muslin for her apron. I sandwhiched some ruffled edging along the outer sides of the bodice. Her underdress will be light blue.

Cordelia is going as Dorothy from Oz. Her apron will be blue checked like Emmy's but without the front detail, she'll have a white underdress too. She's the only one that got anything additional in the form of red sparkly shoes. But again, she can reuse those after the festivities are over.

If you have any questions I'll be happy to answer, I know written directions can be a little vague but I just don't have the time to do a full blow tutorial right now! Hopefully you understand.

Handmade Holidays

Today's post is the first in a series I'll be writing over the next six months. I know it's early to start thinking about the end of the year and all that it entails but I like preparing for things before hand. Enough gets shoved at me without notice, I try and control what I can.

This year, I want to do at least 90% of our gifts to give and get handmade. Either by me or another doesn't really matter. I want to choose gifts to give infused with love and hardwork. If I make the gifts I need time to plan it out and make it in semi-secret. The other ten percent will be things I just don't have the ability to make, like art and school supplies. And possibly underwear (though I actually do know how to make those).

So far, I have planned to make the kids each a pillowcase. I already have the fabric for Cordelia's. I found cute blue manatee fabric. Manatees are her favorite. For some bakers in my life, I'll be making some homemade vanilla extract that I'll gift in pretty bottles. I have to start it now because it takes a good six months to marinate before use.

Those are the only things solidly on the gift list. I'm debating making a felt board with lots of pieces which will be a group gift. Possibly drawing a coloring book. Amelia and Max may get new quilts. I might upcycle some clothes for new things in the dress-up boxes and possibly make our own version of pillow pals. I might try my hand at homemade jelly candies, too. The soap I've been wanting to make might get given as gifts if I get around to making it.

It's early, I know, but has anyone else started thinking of creating a Handmade Holiday this year?

Happy Beltane!

Today is May Day, or Beltane to some. While many in the world will be celebrating today, we're hosting a bbq later this month for friends and family instead. Nothing fancy, just a small Beltane fire, food, music and togetherness.

We might not be pulling out the revilry today but we're still honoring in other ways. I put my Moon Gazing Hare in the garden in rememberance of Flora. She'll sit and look towards the moon as a reminder of what has been lost, both now and in the future. The Hare brings with her the symbol of  growth, rebirth and abundance. Where else to put her but the garden? And what better day to initiate her to our family than May Day?

  

*

Merry May Day or Happy Beltane to you all!

*Our Hare was bought on Etsy From The Heart Creations and is gorgeous. We support Handmade and hope you will too.

Thoughts on Easter

We went to my mother-in-law's yesterday to celebrate Easter with her. We don't do Easter here as a general rule but we're not opposed to helping others celebrate their holidays. After all, isn't that part of what holidays are about? Connecting with loved ones and acceptance and repect of those people? I tend to flow more towards rituals and celebrations that have a more base focus than the Christian theology aspects. Things that focus on energies and seasons. Connecting to the land and to each other. A circular hoop of belief that encircles us all. While my view might not be wide spread, it's what I've come to believe is true in my heart through out my own religious trek down the spiritual road.

I like to envision that spiritual road paved with a myriad of cobble stones. Each special, unique. Each stone a different color, shape, texture, contour that changes our perception of our beliefs as we feel it underfoot. All the stones are facets of religion. A thought here, a scripture there. The connectivity between all beliefs. A spriritual causeway unique to each person, created by them as they develop their sense of self.

It has been difficult to get this far and I know that I'm not anywhere near the end. Alas, I think I shall never be until that day comes when my soul is given back to the universe. And that's okay.

Easter is a time of birth or rebirth, if you will. The plants that went to seed last year, that were frozen over during the long winter months, are reemerging as new life. Spring is a notorious time for baby animal births (and human ones too). The cold winter winds pick up the tinge of hot summers to come. The Wheel of the World turns again. I can feel it sing to me.

I hope to teach my children about the song of life and I am excited to see where their paths lead them.

I know that religion and politics are two hard topics to swallow so I won't get into a whole lot on here. Just some general thoughts about certain things. But if you read my blog, I think understanding a little bit about my religious beliefs is important. It highlights some of the things I do. It's part of the reason I wish to be a farmer. It's why we have a lot of kids. I think its important for others to gain an understanding of things they might not agree with, or believe in. I read a lot of blogs from Christians. I also read blogs of Pagans, Wiccans, and a Buddist. And a few others I don't really know their spiritual designation.

Sometimes I worry, like with today's post, that I will loose some readers because I'm not the same religious affiliation as they are. And I talk about it. That perhaps, they don't want to read about my ideas or thoughts if they're incongruious to their own. I've read some comments on other bloggers posts just for the meat/no meat issue that has divided bloggers from their readers. I hope I don't push anyone away. I don't think religion should be seperate. I don't understand why so many can't accept others for our differences and love and grow with those people. Rejoicing in the diversity of life and the magic of the world. I enjoy listening and learning about the religious beliefs that make others tick. It's most of the reason I attend a Unitarian Universalist church.

So, I ask you readers, since I share so much with you but might not ever know who you are, What is special for you about the season?

My relatives must have been Irish

Ever since forever I've had a lusting for Ireland. The accent, traditional clothes, food, sheep, rolling hills, thick wool sweaters, dimly lit pubs and rainy days. When I was a tween I had a crush on an Irish boy named Billy, he didn't have an accent though. I even thought myself a sports fan* of who else but Notre Dame.  I can't watch an Irish movie (OMG! I love "Once") without wanting to hop on a plane. I think sometimes my relatives must be Irish. At least one had to be for me to have this odd craving for a land I've never seen. If someone came up to me and said "Hey, here's a house and a job but you have to move to the Emerald Isle." I'd be packing boxes before the words left that strangers lips. Yeah, it's a little odd.

So, I tend to get all excited when St. Patrick's Day rolls around. Up until now I've hidden it really well.

Yesterday morning I woke up to the wafting smell of corned beef, potatoes and cabbage slow cooking their way to dinnertime. (I had the foresight to make the meal the night before, go me!) I made the kids dress in green. Then had the inspiration of making green chocolate chip waffles.

At lunch we headed outside with our St. Patrick's printed worksheets (again, thanks to Enchanted Learning) after reading St. Patrick's Day book (isbn 0-8234-1173-7 $6.95). The book has a Legends about St. Patrick section where the kids read about different things. One being St. Patrick and the Poision. The legend states, in a very simplified way, that a wizard tried to kill St. Patrick by putting poison in his drink. St. Patrick turned it to ice and dumped it out. Here's an excerpt from the following conversation:

Me- Do you think legends are real?

Alex - Probably not. People like to make up stories about stuff that isn't true.

Me - Do you think St. Patrick could have turned the poison into ice?

Alex- Well, the wizard could have.

So, there you have it. The legends about St. Patrick aren't real but wizards are. Oh, I love my kids.

We talked more, we colored some, we ate sammies of green bread, almond butter and honey.

We hunted for shamrocks in the yard, of which we have an alarming amount.



Then the healthy (well, except for the green food coloring) lunch was topped off with green frosted cupcakes. The "frosted" and "cupcakes" are two separate links to the BEST EVER recipes for chocolate sheet cake and frosting made with flour. Yes, you heard right, flour. And regular granulated sugar, not powdered. It's magnificent and I ate four too many of them yesterday.

I imagine everywhere on St. Patrick's day, in color-coordinated Ireland, everyone busts out the green food coloring, creating food that might look a little "off" (see green pancakes above) and it's not just a silly thing that American's have done to sterotype an entire island nation. Though if you're Irish and completely apalled by my celebratory actions, please feel free to *gently* enlighten me in the comments section. And if you could somehow do it in an Irish accent, all the better.

*I am not and will never be "a sports fan" of really anything, ever. Except maybe sheep shearing or pie eating. Those are sports, right?

My Heart Melts for Valentines Day

Every few months I clean out the crayon bin. It's a fairly large box about 8x6x4". This is where all the hundreds crayons go. A lot of kids = a lot of crayons. I usually stock up when the Crayola's are .20 a box before public school starts. As many as I buy, we never seems to make it through until the next year's sale. So, instead of throwing out those tiny crayon bits we recycle them into new ones. It's a fairly easy process, if a bit messy. This time, in correspondance with Valentine's Day, we made heart shaped ones.

They came out so pretty I couldn't help but take a bunch of pictures of them posing.

The best way to do this is with a pan or mold you won't ever use for making food in again. Yes, I had to buy new cupcake tins the last time I did this. Learn from my mistakes. I bought these heart shaped ones at Target for $2.50 for the pair.

The kids helped me pick out all the broken pieces from the box.

Then we sorted them by color palette and broke them into even smaller pieces. The hardest part was getting off the paper but if you use a knife and cut them the long way it makes the process much simpler.

We preheated the oven to 250 and placed the silicone heart molds on a cookie tray for stabilization. Then set the timer for 10 minutes.

Some colors take longer to melt. So we added another 10 minutes to the batch after poking the larger pieces with a toothpick, careful not to mix them too much.

After they were melted we set them on the counter in the tray to cool. When they were hard we popped them out. The silicone made it easy.

A few got packaged into a set of five in cute little see through bags that will be sent to our cousins. Making crayons new again isn't hard and it's a great project for the kiddos. Plus they're just pretty.

My Holiday Card to You.

I know I complain a lot and I probably rarely have much to say. Most of the time I feel like I'm tumbling through the world without a steering wheel. Or seat belt for that matter. Apparently, I want to take you for a ride.

We might not see eye to eye on a lot of things. We might envy each other for things we didn't even know were enviable. We probably don't understand much of what make the other person tick. I think that's why I like you.

You inspire me. You make me laugh or give me something to ponder. You pique my interest and light bulbs of ideas over my head. I learn from your mistakes, honestly offered up. You help me choose or not to. You let me know I'm not alone.

 I hope I can return even a little of that gift to you.

I read your blogs and web articles. Your product reviews help me. I regularly turn to your freely given recipies and instructions. I try and support you when you sell something I need or want. I pass on the recommendation of you to others.

We're a faceless community. An anonomous voice. If I passed you on the street I wouldn't know it but you're a part of my world none the less.

Sometimes when I read your words I want to respond, post a funny or insightful comment because you touched my life in some way. Though, like the awkward kid I was in school -and even on playdates now-  on the web I have hard times making friends. I don't know what to say so mostly I don't. Maybe that's how you are on here too?

It's a pretty amazing and facinating thing to be a part of, this whole blogging universe, and I want to give you a big THANKS for letting me in.

There's Jenna over at Cold Antler Farm who is like an icon in this house though we've never met. Amanda at Kitschy Coo that always makes me laugh or wish I had more time to sew. I oogle her wares with fascination and awe. Supermom Jess who Homeschools in Heels was amazing even years ago before we blogged. Mrs. Humble at Not So Humble Pie constantly triggers my salvatory glands and makes me want to search for odd science themed cookie cutters. And probably a hundred or more others that I stumble upon while I search for information, integrating your bit of self into our world over here at Solidity though you might never know it.
 
So, while I might not have a red coat (mines blue) or a big sack filled with presents I want you to know you're appreciated and I'll try and make the next year worth of blog posts the best gift I can give.
 
Happy Holidays. Be Safe. I hope to see you in the new year.
 
Sincerely,
 
Crystal

Happy Solstice

We're still figuring out our traditions for this time of the year. The kids are completely confused. As am I. It's Solstice, let's party! Or not. I'm not sure.

This crossroads I've been sitting at this past year has started to slowly pass me by. I think we've just passed the turn juncture though. And I'm pretty sure there's no U-turns allowed. I don't think I could go back to who I was if I tried. I'm just not exactly certain what road we ended up on. I feel like we're blundering down the path, however slowly, with no real clear goal in mind.

I'm going to be picking up some books to help us define our beliefs and the traditions we want to incorporate into our festivities. We want to celebrate I know that much. After experiencing the miracle of five healthy happy babies joining us in this world, how could we not have anything to celebrate? I do know that the way it's been isn't how I want to continue. We don't have the same beliefs as others. Being a Unitarian Universalist can be a tricky thing. There is no real guide to tell you how, what and when to celebrate. There are no UU holidays. Hell, our religious preferences and beliefs vary widely over the seven people that share this little house!

Part of our UU principles is honoring the inherent dignity and respect of individuals, which means that if our kids want to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster we encourage them to do so. Finding appropriate worship and celebration techniques will evolve as we all search for our inner truths. We grow as a family spirtually just as we did ushering each new born babe into our home.

 Piggy-backing on their religious holidays feels false, wrong and it's what we've been doing because we just didn't know any other way. It's scary to turn from what's accepted and comfortable. Each year, since giving birth to my very first child those almost eight long years ago, I've struggled with performing rituals that are incongruent to my personal beliefs. Though each year -nay each holiday- the feeling has grown and bubbled becoming an amorphous beast looming darkly overhead as whichever celebrated day approaches.

Our goals have changed. We had entertained the dream of being farmers for years before it morphed from a idyllic notion to having purchased a very real piece of land. The feelings and beliefs with what is important to us has so drastically changed that daily tasks such as shopping, cooking and even throwing the trash away are done with more conciousness than we'd had before. It's hard to look at TV as just a harmless tool to keep the kids occupied. A very real threat looms in our livingroom. Food we'd have just tossed away before gets made into left overs, cat food or nourishment for the worms. Getting the mail has moved from a simple chore to at least a twenty minute endeavor as I take the time to baby my wee garden. How can my day change so much yet the holidays become unaffected? It can't. What I expose my children to (as well as myself) is an outward approval of whatever it is I grant access to me and mine. From the shows we watch, the end result of our food, the care of nature and the celebrations of the year, I have to pick and choose what is showcased in our lives. What I decide will effect generations of people that will someday share a bit of my DNA.

The small changes made in our daily lives open our minds to issues and problems in the world. I ask myself; Where does that food come from? What is that show teaching my child? How are these toys or books benefiting our lives? Are these holidays reflecting our heart's beliefs? The fact is that none of us are Christian. Celebrating Christian holidays looks nice, as does eight days of presents, but it's not ours to celebrate.

This year we just winged it. Presents got wrapped and laid on the couch or in their stockings. The tree stayed boxed in the shed. Santa didn't get cookies or milk -much to my dismay. Holiday cards still haven't got sent but that's more my personal procrastination problem. The gifts were sparce and most purposeful; sippy cups, school supplies, a chess set and the like with a few fun things for each. The small magic set with a bio of Houdini, an MP3 player loaded with read along books, art supplies that came in a container to store them. I'll be making a dinner with all the trimmings to enjoy later after Rob gets back from work. Next year I hope we will have some set festivities that showcase our individual inner truths as well as our overall belief as a family. But I feel good with the progress we made this year. We're trying and I think that counts for a lot. For now folks, Happy (enter your personal belief holiday here) everyone.

Family photos

Got our photos done at the Picture People last Friday. Wow. What a pain in the ass that was. Emmy, as usual, had been the chaotic catalyst, running thither and hither while she screamed at the photographer "That not nice!!!" about a dozen times throwing herself on the floor and throwing things at the poor guy just trying to do his job. 

Parenting Tip #459 Don't schedule photos and forget to tell the other people that will be in the photos until the night before.

Parenting Tip #459.5 Don't schedule photos for the morning after a six day vacation. Just don't.

It was a mad dash to drop off the Uhaul and get all the way to the mall by 10am. We made it about 3 minutes too late. I had them start on Max's birthday photos while I ran off to find Alex some black pants and Emmy white tights.

Then, I took off to get coffee because I needed it. More photos when I got back, walked around aimlessly but thankfully didn't spend any money and then came back to look at, pay for and wait more time for the photos to get printed.

All in all, they came out relatively well. No one was picking their noses at least. After they were done I realized, looking despondently at the finished shoot photos, Alex really, really needed a haircut. Oh well.

Gobble Gobble

No, those guys aren't our dinner. They're a pair of Wild Turkeys from the zoo. We visited them last week. I can't wait for the day we pick out our Turkey chick (turkling? still learning the lingo, folks) and raise it for our Thanksgiving meal.

There are few things I get completely internally torn up about, one of them is holidays. We're talking shredded insides here, people.

When I was a kid we celebrated holidays with zeal. Heaping tables surrounded by relatives without much thought behind the holiday other than traditions we've come to expect; food, fun and presents. I suppose with age and enlightenment I've put down the rose colored glasses and replaced them with a jaded eye. Holidays serve a purpose, in fact the term "holidays" is slang for "Holy Days" when the church gave peasants the day off to renew their confirmation to God by celebrating specific Christian events. We've morphed them into feel-good feast days or a goal to reach on the work calendar with little reflection on the purpose behind the symbolism. Looking forward to what we get out of it, instead of the principle. History too, has become forgotten.

I am trying very hard not to soap box on you before you pull out those fat roasters and get to work but it's difficult. Hey, I have a 12lber ready to go, too. But I have a problem with it and you, my unfortunate readers, get to hear it. That is, if you're still reading.

This year we've nixed Christmas. Why? Because we're not Christian. (I'm sure I just lost a bunch of you.) We're Unitarian Universalists. Also, because there becomes little meaning behind it when you take the Christ out of the equation. Celebrating it feels like an elaborate jest. We've decided to celebrate Solstice instead. We're taking a page out of The Book of New Family Traditions, enveloping the things that are important to us and how we want to teach our children.

Tomorrow celebrates another day I have a problem with. Thanksgiving. All I'm going to ask is for you to look into the historic truth about the holiday. You might be shocked. Maybe you'll change your ideas about how to celebrate or if you do it at all. We're changing it, developing it beyond the thankfulness and feast.

I ask you to read about the history, check out the book if you're interested, and feel free to post a reply with your thoughts and ideas. This is a morphing topic in our household and I'd love to hear from others.(I try really hard not to push, just pry eyes open a little. If you're happy with your celebrations, by all means continue!)

I am thankful for you readers. Happy tomorrow.

Shut up. You're getting a chicken.

Well, not even, really. This year we've decided to forgo the traditional gifts for our adult relatives. I mean really, what could we possibly give for twenty bucks that they couldn't buy themselves, would actually like and wouldn't be immediately considered for re-gifting? I'll tell you what: nothing.

We've tried to go the handmade way before but again, it feels like our efforts aren't really as appreciated as they could be. I'm sure the coffee got drunk and the soaps used but like I said it isn't anything that they couldn't have gotten themselves. It's starting to seem like the holiday's are turning into symbolic showmanship. It's not what I want to raise my kids on.

Shopping and gift giving to stimulate the economy or fulfill overwhelming wants instead of tiny ones leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I want to give a gift because I think the person will enjoy it, to show someone I care about them, or give that little something someone's been denying themselves because they just don't really need it and not just because they're a tally mark on my shopping list.

Where went the time of school supplies, much needed clothes (or the occasional fancy dress), handmade toys from loving hands, those cherished bits of candy and the rare winter orange tucked neatly into a darned stocking? When Presence was truly Present enough? I might sound idealistic but hey, I'm an idealist I suppose.

Instead, we have mounds of presents forgotten within minutes of being opened. The joyous high of discovery lasting only until the next glitzy package is shoved under sleepy faces. Piles of wasted paper and packaging shoved unceremoniously into black plastic shrouds. Children mentally ticking off the shopping list they made from catalogs and commercials as they open their gifts. Then the crash of hyped up holiday mayhem when the weariness of "Too Much" overpowers even the most determined tot and parents are left exhausted and bewildered as to how they're going to merge all these new things into their already over crowded lives.

Do I sound like I dislike the holidays? Probably. But I really don't. I dislike what the time of now has brought to it. I feel like someone took a Rockwell and disfigured it and it makes my guts clench with it's grotesqueness. Each year around this time I start feeling like this but am clueless as to how to affect any change. While I want to tell everyone not to bother with gifts I also don't want to alienate my kids or make them feel like freaks. There is a fine line I must walk. Maybe I should just start putting money into a therapy fund.

Even if this isn't the year I figure it all out we have made a choice to donate livestock in the names of the adults in our lives. Since we're trying to become self-sufficient we thought what an awesome way to help others by donating to http://www.heifer.org/ ? This year everyone is getting chickens donated in their names to people in third world countries. Start practicing your excited faces. Who knows? Maybe I'll start a trend in our family and next year we'll be getting those donation cards (but I would also appreciate a chicken of my own when we're on our land and my excited face wouldn't be a practiced one.)

This Little Light of Mine - Home Made Soy Jar Candles

Recently I purchased a bunch of canning supplies on Craigslist. For $40 I made out like a bandit and got over 100 jars in various sizes in addition to bunches of other canning goods. Problem was, it had been in attic and basement storage, moved around and finally posted for sale years later.

When I was sorting through the lot I came across a good number of jars that had chipped rims. I had also started feeding Max some jarred baby food in addition to the food I had made. Here I am, knee deep in empty glass jars I didn't know what to do with.

I had heard a saying and I'm sure I'm mucking it up but it goes something like "Use it up, Wear it out, Make do or Do without" and I decided, for once, to live by it and make something with the jars. I lucked out that Michaels was having a 50% off one item coupon so I snagged a few microwavable soy wax boxes. Each box, normally $22 was $11 for 4lbs and I was able to get two large quart jars or three pint jars plus a smattering of baby food sized ones filled up with one box.

The soy was is ridiculously easy to use and spills clean up super quick. It can be washed off plastic and glass. Even the large quarts were firm and solid enough to store upright within a half hour. The only "difficulty" and I say that with little emphasis was figuring out how long to microwave the wax, which is probably specific to each persons 'wave.

Here's a photo of my set up. As you can see I opted to use things I had around the house for centering the wicks, which are wooden clothes pins. I used a $1.99 IKEA 4 cup microwavable measuring cup to melt the wax. This particular melting made 8 baby food jar candles, one large quart and about 1/3 filled second quart jar.

I got creative at one point and made some lavender scented ones but in my opinion the scents were too pricey and I hadn't had any oils on hand to make them that way. Again, just another expense I didn't really need to recycle the jars. I'm very pleased with the quality of the candles.

With storm power outages and hurricanes it's important to have candles on hand. Using (and possibly reusing) the containers to hold the candles is a bonus. After practicing with these emergency candles and still having a big box of jars left over, I'm contemplating making some scented/colored candles to give as gifts at the holidays.

It's been a busy two months

Well, first off I was hugely pregnant all of December which didn't add to my desire to be creative (including blogging anything worthwile). Then with the winter holidays going on it got a little crazy here. Christmas day came and with it a lovely baby boy! Maximilian Robert was born December 25th at 2:50 in the afternoon.









We've been adjusting nicely to having the new addition. Then with the CPSC stuff going on regarding selling handmade baby items I've been trying to redefine my sale items or scrapping them all together until things change. I dont' make a whole lot, and really everything I do make goes right back to buying more materials, but it's a fun outlet and people that do buy my items seem to enjoy them.


We also had another first in the house, with Alex and a loose tooth. We had out first missing tooth in our household the night before the inauguration.

All in all, it's been a busy couple of months. This year I plan to blog some free tutes, pattern reviews (and other reviews), home school stuff and some more just of life as a mom of five. I hope you'll stick with me and check out my blog occasionally.