Living in Fear

Today, I have been reading some of the blogs I follow and there has been a recurring theme in the posts; simplifying life, reducing dependency on the mainstream, giving up, letting go and creating a sustainable homestead. This is something we've been striving towards, learning about and yearning for. I dream of hearing our dairy cow beacon to us. Walk our fields surrounded by a herd of goats. Fire up the outdoor handmade brick oven to bake the bread for the week.

The life I envision is not all homemade lemonade and fireflies. It's hardwork, devotion and a frugal simplicity that quite frankly, I'm not used to. I long to drop everything, leave it all behind and stake our new life out on our five acres. To pay for in sweat and sore muscles what I can't afford. To plan our meals by scouting out what's ripe in the garden instead of what I can coupon-match from the store. To have the abundance of wealth around me instead of in our bank account.

But those dreams and goals have to be accomplished with infiniately small baby steps. We are not the pioneers of old, strapping everything to a wagon and heading out with a wish on a sleeve that it'll work out. There are laws about living in vehicles with kids now.

Nor are we even the young, newly wedded couple that my grandparents were, building a house without permits with doors from an old box car. I grew up in that house which didn't have indoor plumbing until I was two years old. But there are laws now about acceptable materials, waste disposal and ceiling heights. (Though I will add, that house is still standing  fifty some odd years later and currently being lived in.)

Right now we live in something of a state of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of pursuing our dreams and failing, fear of taking on more than we can chew. Fear that money is key and if we don't have enough we'll never survive. We even have trepidation of the animals we long for. Having never experienced them in the flesh, reality can be nerve-wracking. Fear that taking a chance or risk will have others up in arms, that their fear and ignorance will have these law-seekers taking our children from us. There are just so many, many laws regarding child welfare.

There seems to be a crux we are too afraid to cross. A point where the life we lead now splits off to the life we want to have. I feel soul-deep that to make that transition is going to take a hard sacrifice and a two-footed leap of faith. That continuing with baby steps and waiting until things are "just right" -that job that gets lined up, the raise that gets us just "that much" more money, the house gets completed, we get that tractor or the baby gets older so we can do more on the land- will delay our dreams until we're too old to accomplish them. But no matter how much I wish to have the biggest yard sale of my life, pack up what remains and move three hours north, I just can't. Even though my heart, soul, and head all scream for me to do it.

Perhaps, I'm just voicing the thoughts and feelings of all those others that came before us, those men and women that did what we want to. Perhaps they too, lived in fear.

Homestead Realities

I love reading homesteading blogs. I love perusing journeys of those that live without TV and off grid.
Who shun shopping and grow all their own food, including the milk, meat and eggs. I love hearing about people that pack it all up and head out to a slice of Earth and make it happen. Who spend their free time shitting in holes while they build their tiny houses from scratch with the materials of the land or all the stuff they've stalked on Freecycle. I love it, I really, really do. But there is one key difference between these idylic scenarios and my life.

They. Have. No. Kids.

Not a one. Zip, zero. Nil. Or, if they do, they're at least or close to teenagers. A second or third set of hands that can actually lend a hand to build. People that are, virtually, adults. That can occupy themselves and have sense to stay away from dangerous stuff.

I don't have that. I have kids, toddlers, babies. Piles and piles of children at the ready to stick their hands in wet cement or dump buckets of screws on the ground. The complete opposite of helpful when it comes to home building.

Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, I love their ages and their tripping ways. I wouldn't have it any other way. But it's the lack of information, support or guidance from anyone else that's done it this way with kids that has me frustrated. Even the articles I read regarding this subject don't have this view point. I can't just pack it all up one day and say "Hey, we'll live off the land and if we can't find food, oh well!"* People will take my kids away and I really, really don't want that.

We have to have clean, fresh water. We have to have a climate controlled place for the kids to retreat to in the 100 degree weather. We have to have a steady supply of nutritious food, clean clothes, adequate restroom facilities and beds. Each of these, and a plethora of others, has to be hashed out, created or purchased before the next step -or even the first- can commence.

So, we'll be taking this in little baby steps, something we're well familiar with. Figuring out all the minute details that will help make our homestead a reality. I just would have liked to see someone else do it this way first.

*I'm not saying that people that do this are being nonchallant and haven't planned out what they'll do for food, shelter and the like. Just that we can't have quite the same freedoms as others.

Another Constant Reminder

I printed out photos of our property through Snapfish to post around the house. Visitors might think it odd to have such a picturesque landscape scotch taped to the bathroom window and the kitchen cabinet but it's our way of reminding ourselves what's important.

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the rush of life. The very real needs and wants of seven people can override the dreams we share. I see these when I'm getting ready to go to the store. It helps me to remember what we're supposed to be doing. To keep us on track.

I see these and I think "Maybe we don't really need all those groceries...", "Maybe we shouldn't go to both stores." A tiny, gentle, yet poignant way to tell myself to stop unnecessary spending. Money is the key to our dream. Even if we get things recycled, second hand or flat out used, chances are they're not going to be free. Though we can hope, we're realistic too. From what I've read about others building their own homes mortgage free and by their own hands, everything you think costs one price is usually double and takes twice as long to do.

I can accept that and I can work towards being finacially okay with it too.

We have plans!

Last night I purchased the plans for our homestead from http://www.countryplans.com/ (Photo is from CP website, a completed house of the plans we purchased)

I'm so giddy!

We went with the 20x34' Universal which we're bumping out to 38' long and putting a living attic in. I'm using Visio to work up a floor plan. We also just ordered Chief Architect Home Designer Suite v.9 so we can make walk through models of the house. The better prepared we are for what we're doing the easier it'll be.

We decided to go with Country Plans because they're inexepensive and people have actually built them. Both by hand and contracted out. There is a wealth of information, photos and help on the forums. We feel confident in the materials and our ability to create our home from the plans. I also tacked on the Sunroom, Greenhouse and Skylight package for another $16.

Hey, ho! Here we go!

Solar to Sustain Us?

One of my favorite They Might Be Giants kids songs is "The Sun" (quoted in italics below). It's actually a song I can listen to without wanting to stab someone for it's idiotic repetitiveness  quite catchy tune and is about science. So, its basically awesome.

The sun is a mass of incandescent gas,

A gigantic nuclear furnace,


Where hydrogen is built into helium,


At a temperature of millions of degrees.

This homesteading thing isn't about us building a spec home on a large sodded lot. It's about changing our lifestyle and reducing our needs outside what we can harvest and grow outselves. Harvesting the sun for energy is just one of those ideas. Looking at our recent electric bill...well, lets just say it looks to be a daunting task. Can seven people live without the lines of The Electric Company hanging over us?

We need its light,



We need its heat,


The sunlight that we see,


The sunlight comes from our own suns,


Atomic energy
 
I'd like to think we could. But I'm not sure. We're reading about it, researching, pricing out panels. That's what this whole huge life is about: learning. Last month we used on average 81 kwhpd. Oh. My. God. It fluxuated over $125 from December. Ouch. Granted, we're sitting in a house built in 1922 that literally had holes in it where you could see daylight. We have no insulation besides the minimum in the attic. There are places the only barrier between us and the outside is an almost a century old panel of wood. The AC/electric heat unit put it has one single duct to the downstairs which makes us need multiple space heaters running constantly to keep the chill down. I wore gloves to type during the freeze snap we had. Even with the heaters running full.
 
The sun is hot,



The sun is not,


A place where we could live,


But here on Earth there'd be no life,


Without the light it gives.

It's hard to determine what our energy consumption would be if we lived in a house that didn't have these flaws. I love my old house but I do not love anything at all about owing the electric company exorbitant amounts of money each month and the overhanging threat of being turned off if we can't make the payment. Even with the insulation we'd still need to climitize the house, see for homeschool, cook, wash laundry and heat water. On average I estimated we spend between $3000-5000 a year on electric usage. That's a lot of green for being very un-green.We're learning though. I really want to do this right from the beginning. Not go back and redo work because it was easier to hook up to the main line for power. I want independence and freedom from monthly bills and non-renewable energies be them my own works or burning fossil fuels. We'd have to piece-meal the system together based on our needs. Building an off grid house we don't get the luxury of walking in and plugging in. But that's okay. That's what I want...if we can figure it out.

The sun is far away,



About 93 million miles away!


And thats why it looks so small,


But even when its out of sight,


The sun shines night and day.

Blog and Product props - Home-N-Stead

There have been a few blogs out there that really just grab my attention and nestled in with those are the great family over at Home-N-Stead. I found them while searching for homesteading links. They're a great big large family which I just adore.

They have some really cool kids. Nine homeschooled kids produced, edited and starred in their own DVD's. The trailer alone is enough to entice you to order. What wit and imagination! Dedicaiton and devotion! I'm waiting with baited breath for Indiana John to come out. It's really an inspiration to me and my kids that a little cooperation and hard work can make something so

fun. Speaking of cooperation, I'm also enlightened that this bunch work so well together, especially in a society that seems so eager to accept family seperation as the norm.

Heading over to the Home-N-Stead store I want to share my experience with their wonderful probiotic soap. This hand crafted soap has earned it's own permanent spot on our shelves. It rinses clean, is great for body and hair and lots of other practical uses. Cordelia, whom suffers from ecsema, has been able to use this soap exclusively with out any outbreaks! That in iteself is note worthy. I love being able to support other large families where and when I can, especially with things made from their hearts and hands.

Here's Emmy all Home-N-Stead soaped up

Their blog has a lot of great information on homesteading. The part of having the husband work at home for their home particularly got me and this is now a desire of mine. With our year long separation from Rob, I don't want to give his best part away anymore. Hopefully, within 5 or less years, we'll be able to fufill this dream. There's also really great information on building a home. These guys built from the ground up and all in the family had a hand. Total inspiration.

The forum is a great place to ask questions to many other like minded families. They have a great positive and supporting attitude. Overall, Home-N-Stead has a little bit for everyone. I hope you discover them and enjoy them as much as I have.

I'm about to go hippy on you

Which isn't that odd considering I rarely get a chance to shower. Many people probably think I am a hippy with my Unitarian Universalist bumperstickers, lack of showering and at the best of times at least one mismatched and/or dirty kid. But here I delve into another concept other than personal hygine and car decor, the topic of Homesteading.



Homesteading, what's that? Isn't that the credit I get on my taxes or something?? Well, at least in Florida it is but it's also a movement towards going backwards. How's that for confusing! In our search to find alternative (and inexpensive yet reliable) construction options I stumbled upon this fabulous concept called Homesteading. Homesteaders come in a whole kelidescope of depths. You can even be an Urban Homesteader!



Many Homesteaders I've come across are mild to spicy Christians. So if you're not so inclined in beliefs, try and sift out the pertinent information. Another word for Homesteading might be Sustaining. Sustainability is a word getting thrown around a whole lot by some pretty big wig non-sustainable Corps. It's almost ironic if it wasn't so sad really because their misuse of the word and concept is getting marred by their dependence on providing non-sustainable goods.

It really gets me that they give out reuseable GROCERY/SHOPPING bags. Yes, I too am moving away from plastic bags BUT the point would be to NOT keep shopping!!!!



Enter in Homesteading.



This brilliant little idea gives power back to people. Imagine not having to run to the store every time you needed something. Imagine knowing HOW to make your own consumable products, like soap, candles and cleaners and knowing WHAT is in each and every product! Forget highpriced organic veggies, grow your own! There is an abundance of information out there just waiting to be snatched up and put to good use.



Can't make/grow your own? Look into a community garden or find other local homesteaders. Put your money into the hands of others that share these foundations of freedom.



Some of my favorite homesteading sites are



www.homenstead.14.forumer.com
www.homesteadingtoday.com
www.countryplans.com
www.mulerslanefarm.com
www.chestnutfarms.com
www.swedefarmnaturals.com

Wow, building debt free, living off the land, leaving stressful jobs to be with your family, homeschooling, limited/no TV, living with less and so many other ideas verging on hippy. It's almost like the natural, granola movement but set about 100 years before that...

The start of a dream

For over 8 years we've been itching to build our own house. We start out planning what we'd do and then it fizzles out as doubt and speculation emerge. Bringing our dream to a negative halt. A few years later we pick it up again and the cycle continued. This year we decided to take a step towards this dream. We decided to purchase some land.

We found this great company http://www.jimjean.com/ with some really great people. Our realtor Doug was such a great guy. Non-pressuring and helpful, with lots of other characteristics not usually seen in real estate guys (I know I worked for some). Jim Jean realty is a family owned business run by Jim and some of his six kids. Our brood of 5 and I were warmly welcomed into their offices.

I made the 2 hr hike up to Gainesville to check out some land I found on their site in an area called Beville Estates. 5.3 acres to be exact. It's set out in the country but not too far from the city and all the regular amenities of urban life. The land was a sod farm that was broken up into twenty 5-acre lots. Each lot only allows for 1 single family home more than 1000 sq. feet. Which was wonderful because we knew that no developer was going to come in and stick 200 homes next to ours.

With Rob in Iraq, the second part is probably being more difficult which is choosing and laying out a floorplan. Although, with him so far away it's probably better since we can't get into arguments over details quite so easily.

Here's a shot of our land...