Happy Beltane!

Today is May Day, or Beltane to some. While many in the world will be celebrating today, we're hosting a bbq later this month for friends and family instead. Nothing fancy, just a small Beltane fire, food, music and togetherness.

We might not be pulling out the revilry today but we're still honoring in other ways. I put my Moon Gazing Hare in the garden in rememberance of Flora. She'll sit and look towards the moon as a reminder of what has been lost, both now and in the future. The Hare brings with her the symbol of  growth, rebirth and abundance. Where else to put her but the garden? And what better day to initiate her to our family than May Day?

  

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Merry May Day or Happy Beltane to you all!

*Our Hare was bought on Etsy From The Heart Creations and is gorgeous. We support Handmade and hope you will too.

Teaching Children about Death

The loss of Flora is still being felt though my heart feels more bruised today than hemorrhaging. Loss will happen, as long as I treat the animals with respect and the best care I can give I think I'll be okay with that on a farm. But breaking the news (which somehow got out right before bedtime) to a housefull of young children is a difficult thing.

Their world collapses when there is death.

The almost eight year old understands a bit more than the almost seven, she in turn understands it better than the five, the three year old doesn't get it at all really. Our faith -Unitarian Universalism- is based on the fact that individuals have the unimpeded ability to choose their own belief system. They can choose who and what and how to pray, worship and rejoice. The problem is my kids haven't chosen yet.

My personal belief is that there is something after. I just can't live day to day thinking that when I die there will be nothing left. Death frightens me because I'm old enough to know that might not be true. My understanding of Rob's belief is that there is nothing after. You die, there is no more. I needed to help my kids with their grief, letting them come to their own conclusions but children need the tangible when they're too young to decide for themselves what the intangible is like.

Guiding my kids through their grieving process was a treacherous decision making ordeal rife with emotional and spiritual landmines. I let them take ahold of my belief to fill the void of their own, letting them grasp a Heaven. We talked about Flora and Grampa George (the only other they know that has died) and where they are, what they might be doing and how they are feeling. I taught them how to pray, sending prayers -wishes of our hearts- to those we loved and lost.

I let them guide the small beliefs of mine I gave to them as truths having them decide what things are like in this mysterious place they can't see or feel or touch. It was difficult knowing that the things I said last night could become their reality and shape their religious beliefs more than I wanted. It was harder still to guide them all together, each putting their own spin on the small truths I gave, without them belittling or discouraging another while they walked a parallel but different path. I tried to teach them respect for the beliefs of their siblings. I tried to let them understand there wasn't any other way for Flora except death. I tried to invoke their inner respect and compassion by explaining how hurt Flora was and how keeping her with us was wrong. I tried to be compassionate and tender as I cradled them in their mourning, letting their whole-body wrenching sobs wash over me, comforting me in my own grief. I tried and I hope I succeeded.  

I could have taken the easy road and given them a hard set of truths about the afterlife, ones that couldn't be questioned or dismantled by the unending curiosity of youth. I could have lied and never told them she had passed, just maybe went to live elsewhere. There are a million things I could have done and probably some mistakes made in the things I did do but I tried to stay true to my religion by not forcing my beliefs onto them but giving them a jumping board to discover their own.

It will be a wonderous thing to experience, when these little ones become adults, to see where their spiritual paths lead them. I know, being a parent and guiding these small beings, takes me further down my own path. And, while it's sad and hard sometimes, it's still a miraculous thing to behold.

Thoughts on Easter

We went to my mother-in-law's yesterday to celebrate Easter with her. We don't do Easter here as a general rule but we're not opposed to helping others celebrate their holidays. After all, isn't that part of what holidays are about? Connecting with loved ones and acceptance and repect of those people? I tend to flow more towards rituals and celebrations that have a more base focus than the Christian theology aspects. Things that focus on energies and seasons. Connecting to the land and to each other. A circular hoop of belief that encircles us all. While my view might not be wide spread, it's what I've come to believe is true in my heart through out my own religious trek down the spiritual road.

I like to envision that spiritual road paved with a myriad of cobble stones. Each special, unique. Each stone a different color, shape, texture, contour that changes our perception of our beliefs as we feel it underfoot. All the stones are facets of religion. A thought here, a scripture there. The connectivity between all beliefs. A spriritual causeway unique to each person, created by them as they develop their sense of self.

It has been difficult to get this far and I know that I'm not anywhere near the end. Alas, I think I shall never be until that day comes when my soul is given back to the universe. And that's okay.

Easter is a time of birth or rebirth, if you will. The plants that went to seed last year, that were frozen over during the long winter months, are reemerging as new life. Spring is a notorious time for baby animal births (and human ones too). The cold winter winds pick up the tinge of hot summers to come. The Wheel of the World turns again. I can feel it sing to me.

I hope to teach my children about the song of life and I am excited to see where their paths lead them.

I know that religion and politics are two hard topics to swallow so I won't get into a whole lot on here. Just some general thoughts about certain things. But if you read my blog, I think understanding a little bit about my religious beliefs is important. It highlights some of the things I do. It's part of the reason I wish to be a farmer. It's why we have a lot of kids. I think its important for others to gain an understanding of things they might not agree with, or believe in. I read a lot of blogs from Christians. I also read blogs of Pagans, Wiccans, and a Buddist. And a few others I don't really know their spiritual designation.

Sometimes I worry, like with today's post, that I will loose some readers because I'm not the same religious affiliation as they are. And I talk about it. That perhaps, they don't want to read about my ideas or thoughts if they're incongruious to their own. I've read some comments on other bloggers posts just for the meat/no meat issue that has divided bloggers from their readers. I hope I don't push anyone away. I don't think religion should be seperate. I don't understand why so many can't accept others for our differences and love and grow with those people. Rejoicing in the diversity of life and the magic of the world. I enjoy listening and learning about the religious beliefs that make others tick. It's most of the reason I attend a Unitarian Universalist church.

So, I ask you readers, since I share so much with you but might not ever know who you are, What is special for you about the season?

Unitarians are not vampires

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No matter what they might say in Japan...but we'd probably accept them at our night services as long as they understood our definition of "pot luck".

Happy Solstice

We're still figuring out our traditions for this time of the year. The kids are completely confused. As am I. It's Solstice, let's party! Or not. I'm not sure.

This crossroads I've been sitting at this past year has started to slowly pass me by. I think we've just passed the turn juncture though. And I'm pretty sure there's no U-turns allowed. I don't think I could go back to who I was if I tried. I'm just not exactly certain what road we ended up on. I feel like we're blundering down the path, however slowly, with no real clear goal in mind.

I'm going to be picking up some books to help us define our beliefs and the traditions we want to incorporate into our festivities. We want to celebrate I know that much. After experiencing the miracle of five healthy happy babies joining us in this world, how could we not have anything to celebrate? I do know that the way it's been isn't how I want to continue. We don't have the same beliefs as others. Being a Unitarian Universalist can be a tricky thing. There is no real guide to tell you how, what and when to celebrate. There are no UU holidays. Hell, our religious preferences and beliefs vary widely over the seven people that share this little house!

Part of our UU principles is honoring the inherent dignity and respect of individuals, which means that if our kids want to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster we encourage them to do so. Finding appropriate worship and celebration techniques will evolve as we all search for our inner truths. We grow as a family spirtually just as we did ushering each new born babe into our home.

 Piggy-backing on their religious holidays feels false, wrong and it's what we've been doing because we just didn't know any other way. It's scary to turn from what's accepted and comfortable. Each year, since giving birth to my very first child those almost eight long years ago, I've struggled with performing rituals that are incongruent to my personal beliefs. Though each year -nay each holiday- the feeling has grown and bubbled becoming an amorphous beast looming darkly overhead as whichever celebrated day approaches.

Our goals have changed. We had entertained the dream of being farmers for years before it morphed from a idyllic notion to having purchased a very real piece of land. The feelings and beliefs with what is important to us has so drastically changed that daily tasks such as shopping, cooking and even throwing the trash away are done with more conciousness than we'd had before. It's hard to look at TV as just a harmless tool to keep the kids occupied. A very real threat looms in our livingroom. Food we'd have just tossed away before gets made into left overs, cat food or nourishment for the worms. Getting the mail has moved from a simple chore to at least a twenty minute endeavor as I take the time to baby my wee garden. How can my day change so much yet the holidays become unaffected? It can't. What I expose my children to (as well as myself) is an outward approval of whatever it is I grant access to me and mine. From the shows we watch, the end result of our food, the care of nature and the celebrations of the year, I have to pick and choose what is showcased in our lives. What I decide will effect generations of people that will someday share a bit of my DNA.

The small changes made in our daily lives open our minds to issues and problems in the world. I ask myself; Where does that food come from? What is that show teaching my child? How are these toys or books benefiting our lives? Are these holidays reflecting our heart's beliefs? The fact is that none of us are Christian. Celebrating Christian holidays looks nice, as does eight days of presents, but it's not ours to celebrate.

This year we just winged it. Presents got wrapped and laid on the couch or in their stockings. The tree stayed boxed in the shed. Santa didn't get cookies or milk -much to my dismay. Holiday cards still haven't got sent but that's more my personal procrastination problem. The gifts were sparce and most purposeful; sippy cups, school supplies, a chess set and the like with a few fun things for each. The small magic set with a bio of Houdini, an MP3 player loaded with read along books, art supplies that came in a container to store them. I'll be making a dinner with all the trimmings to enjoy later after Rob gets back from work. Next year I hope we will have some set festivities that showcase our individual inner truths as well as our overall belief as a family. But I feel good with the progress we made this year. We're trying and I think that counts for a lot. For now folks, Happy (enter your personal belief holiday here) everyone.

Gobble Gobble

No, those guys aren't our dinner. They're a pair of Wild Turkeys from the zoo. We visited them last week. I can't wait for the day we pick out our Turkey chick (turkling? still learning the lingo, folks) and raise it for our Thanksgiving meal.

There are few things I get completely internally torn up about, one of them is holidays. We're talking shredded insides here, people.

When I was a kid we celebrated holidays with zeal. Heaping tables surrounded by relatives without much thought behind the holiday other than traditions we've come to expect; food, fun and presents. I suppose with age and enlightenment I've put down the rose colored glasses and replaced them with a jaded eye. Holidays serve a purpose, in fact the term "holidays" is slang for "Holy Days" when the church gave peasants the day off to renew their confirmation to God by celebrating specific Christian events. We've morphed them into feel-good feast days or a goal to reach on the work calendar with little reflection on the purpose behind the symbolism. Looking forward to what we get out of it, instead of the principle. History too, has become forgotten.

I am trying very hard not to soap box on you before you pull out those fat roasters and get to work but it's difficult. Hey, I have a 12lber ready to go, too. But I have a problem with it and you, my unfortunate readers, get to hear it. That is, if you're still reading.

This year we've nixed Christmas. Why? Because we're not Christian. (I'm sure I just lost a bunch of you.) We're Unitarian Universalists. Also, because there becomes little meaning behind it when you take the Christ out of the equation. Celebrating it feels like an elaborate jest. We've decided to celebrate Solstice instead. We're taking a page out of The Book of New Family Traditions, enveloping the things that are important to us and how we want to teach our children.

Tomorrow celebrates another day I have a problem with. Thanksgiving. All I'm going to ask is for you to look into the historic truth about the holiday. You might be shocked. Maybe you'll change your ideas about how to celebrate or if you do it at all. We're changing it, developing it beyond the thankfulness and feast.

I ask you to read about the history, check out the book if you're interested, and feel free to post a reply with your thoughts and ideas. This is a morphing topic in our household and I'd love to hear from others.(I try really hard not to push, just pry eyes open a little. If you're happy with your celebrations, by all means continue!)

I am thankful for you readers. Happy tomorrow.