Why are their no Starbucks at/near Disney?

Or, Why does Disney have crappy coffee?

Yes, it's true. For you parents that can't sum up the mental capabilities to settle squabbles over who gets the last remaining pink bowl or why on Earth you two year old is screaming incoherantly about something in or around the television  before you ingest a good half cup of that black gold nectar of the Gods, be forewared; Disney and Coffee are NOT synonomous.

In fact, much of our mornings were spent procuring the life imbibing juice. Or trying to. Keeping us in a less than magical mood for our Disney excursions.

The photo of Max consuming Mickey's head is just a spot of cuteness for you to look at while I bitch.

The four star hotel had Starbucks. Listen closely. They had Starbucks as in they hired some daft girl and paid her minimum wage to pour hot water over the beans of Starbucks until lunch time. It was not A Starbucks. As a matter of fact, there was not a single Starbucks in the entire Disney area. The capitalization opportunities Disney would incur by placing some Starbucks inside their golden gates would be down right phenomenal. Even with my meager accounting abilities I can see the ginormous potential. All those bleary eyed parents overwhelmed with glittery sing-songy hyped up kids, usually in multiples, would suck up the 'Bucks like nobody's business, gleefully handing out the Disney Dollars. Oh, if only Walt were alive he'd see the vision.* Perhaps they could borrow some of the Starbucks from Toronto.

The coffee in Epcot was a joke. It came from a soda dispenser for Christ sakes. I won't even bother to comment more on that atrocity.

The $1.99 plain black coffee served at The Land (our first attempt at Epcot coffee getting) was hot (I dislike hot coffee in steamy humid Florida) and had to be so severely doctored to be drinkable that I should have sent Disney a bill for medical services rendered.

You'd think Coffee in a restaraunt/pick up food line/kiosk would be a mandatory serving menu item. It was not. So very, very few places actually serve anything even remotely coffee-esque. And the "frozen latte"'s don't count. Again, machine dispensed.

I'm spolied I suppose. With six total days of non stop vacationing, coffee is a mandatory thing. It just is. I'm not going to apologize and I really, truly tried to take my fix any which way I could but a girl's just gotta have a handcrafted beverage with her specified number of shots (five to be precise, one for each kid) or things will get nasty. Case in point:

Me. Day three.

*If they merge Starbucks with Disney at ANY point in time I expect full credit for the idea.

Skee Ball is our thing

Not so magical beginning

We've been in Orlando for two hours. We've been in our hotel room even less time than that. If you assume a well organized vacation would get off without much hitch, you're wrong. Two hours in and let's just say it's beginning to feel like a National Lampoon vacation.

First we started at the Uhaul station. After making reservations online, then calling to confirm when Rob got there they lost the reservation. Thankfully, they had one 4x8 trailer left. It also happened to be the dirtiest on the lot. Yum. Bringing it home and loading it up wasn't too bad. We did have to put a jack and a concrete pillow* on the back to weigh it down enough.

Then we went to Macaroni Grill for a late lunch to kick off the vacation. On the way in I held Emmy's hand, she tripped and now is sporting a nice ace bandage from elbow to fingers. Great.

The entire trip Olivia asked if we were there yet on average every four miles. On a 80 mile trip.

Finally, we get to the Comfort Inn just after 4pm. The kids are cranky and tired. I hop out to check us in. The clerk had our reservation, which I made months ago and called this week to confirm. We had two adjoining (remember this word it's important) rooms. In the system? Yep! Credit card on file? Got cha! Adjoining rooms? Not a chance. They have adjacent rooms. Well, it's a hotel I'd expect that much but that's not what adjoining means now is it? Hello, Mr. Manager please.

After twenty minutes of waiting for him while he explained to me that they recently converted, looked at the notes in the reservation and it indeed said adjoining, spent a ton of time on the phone with corporate reservation to see if they could fit us in a room within a ten mile radius, we got new reservations at the same price with rooms that have a door in the middle at the Rosen Center. A 4 star hotel.

Pack it up. Drive for 15 minutes. Cha-ching Rosen Center plaza we arrive. Now this is a pretty fancy hotel across from the Convention Center in Orlando. BUT wi-fi isn't free, there is no kitchenette with microwave, fridge and sink and we have a lovely view of the roof. Comfort Inn it might not be but the CI was better equipped. According to Rob, our car isn't the shittiest one in the lot but it is the only one toting a Uhaul.

We're getting nickle and dimed like you wouldn't believe. This 4 star hotel is too fancy for my 2 star taste. More to come soon.

*A concrete pillow is made when you purchase a bag of concrete that is too heavy for you to carry. So, you kinda let it drop out of the car then forget about it sitting on the grass next to the drive way for approximately six months and let the weather solidify it.

And we're off

Rob's picking up the trailer and we're headed for five (presumably raining according to the weather) days at Disney World. If you want to know how we can afford a five day, five night trip to WDW it's really a once in a lifetime opportunity. First you or someone you love has to go to war for like a year, which I really don't recommend. Then  you have to scour the internet for months to find the most killer deal on adjoining rooms, because, let's face it, seven people in one room in the Comfort Inn for five days will probably kill us. Two nights in a two double bed room had us pulling our hair out last month. Please don't push me anymore.

Why is Rob picking up a trailer you ask? Well, you see, seven people need a lot of stuff for a full work week away from home. We have 2 strollers, a play pen, 4 sleeping bags, 2 pillows, 3 fairly large toiletry bags, a case of diapers and half a case of wipes, 6 bottles, sippy cups, bowls and utensils, formula, a couple slings, a camcorder, a camera, a portable DVD player and movies, three bags of groceries, 30 juice boxes, a laptop, a cooler with frozen food, 7 jackets, rain coats, and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten. All that won't fit in an Astro filled with five car seats and 2 additional adults. It just won't.

We're trying to do this on a budget with the food. The rooms both have a microwave, sink and minifridge. We've packed enough PB&J, microwave burgers, fajitas and bagel dogs to make a few meals. Lots of apples and trail mix from the fruit I've been dehydrating over the last six months. The Crystal bars, as Rob calls them (you can find the recipe for Raw Treats on here) and other snacks like pretzels. We want to have a good time, we don't want to come home broke. We also don't want to get sick eating out. It's amazing how your body will reject foods high in salt, sugar and fat when you stop eating them.

Today we're driving out, getting a meal at Macaroni Grill with a gift card I scored from earning points on http://www.mypoints.com/ by buying other stuff. I have another for Rainforest cafe which is in Downtown Disney. We'll check into the hotel and try and turn in early so we have a good start for the next day. Planning to go to MK at least twice to see everything the kids want as many times as we want. We're going to throw in some learnin' too by taking the behind the scenes tour of the enormous greenhouse at Epcot. I really hope it's packed with great info and not just "Hey look we grow big friggin' fruit". I imagine there's nothing like getting veggie growing tips from that amazing place. Hey, we're still farmers at heart even in the most magical place on Earth.

So, until I have time and energy to blog again, we're off.