The Beaches

I'm a little late on the topic, I know. I have a tendancy to not read the paper or watch the news. Ever. I knew there had been an oil spill/explosion/whatnot but never looked into the details. I just couldn't, I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm trying not to be like that. But it's hard.

There is so much bad in the world. Not just talking about this crisis but everything as a whole. Most of the time I just can't take it. The death and destruction roar in my ears. It makes me want to run for the hills (or at least my little piece of land) and cut myself off from humanity. Shelter my kids under a cloud of unawareness and live out my life in ignorant bliss. It's wrong, I get that, but every fiber in my body still wants to.

I posted a photo of the beach we went to in March. A beach that might not be safe to use soon. A beach that's white sand won't be white, the water not that wonderful deep blue-green. It'll be barren of little bare feet and much more. So, so much more.

I'm not a beachy person. I don't enjoy laying in grit, cooking cancer into my skin. The vitamin D I absorb I'd rather get from being hunched over in the front yard, digging in the Earth. But that doesn't mean I don't want the beaches and waterways.

The other thing that worries me about this whole thing is how it will impact the already precarious situation we have with our Florida Manatees. While the ones in the photo won't have to worry, the others do. Cordelia's favorite animal is the manatee. My favorite quote of her's is "I wish I was a mermaid, so then I could marry a manatee." Which one of you would like to break the news to her when they're wiped out?

It's such a mess. Everything is so twisted; I don't know how to extract myself from the sticky, oily web. It makes me want to rethink our entire plan for the farm, driving me to drastic measures since it seems the little ones I try and enforce daily aren't making a difference. I want to chuck out the car and live without central air. I want to scream at people that drive, single person in an SUV and use those stupid little plastic produce bags at the store. There is a problem without a clear solution. It drives me nuts. My whole emotional framework is exacerbated and intensified. Put on a sharp edge of fear and uncertainty. Which is the entire reason I stay away from watching the new and reading the paper.

There isn't much I can do right now to fix this particular problem. I think a lot of people are just holding their breath, waiting to see how bad it will get. Rob might get called up for Emergency Guard to help our state in whatever way he can. Others are starting to mobilize. The only thing I can do right now is pray.

So, please, please, please, whatever God there is where ever it lives and however it's called upon, let us fix the beaches.