Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Father-less Day

I'd like to write a post for those of us that don't have fathers. I don't mean the ones that have grown up with a dad and have lost them far too soon. While my heart goes out to you that have known and lost, this is for those of us that never knew a father in our lives. Never had a dad to tuck us in or lovingly scold us over our current boyfriends or too short skirts. To be overprotective or spoil us. No one to walk us down the aisle when we were married or to be papa to our kids. This is to those that had to explain to all the other kids in class why you're making a Father's Day card for your Grampa or your mom.

We just don't have a dad.

We never did. We never will. There is no one on the planet that will stand up and claim us as their own. Even as our mother marries or remarries those men aren't our fathers. They're not our dads, most of the time they're not even male role models. They're just people that are with our moms.

It's a hard concept to grasp; not having a father, not knowing who he is. Looking in the mirror and wondering what bits of you are from that side of the family. Worried you're genetically destined for some major health failure that runs on your imaginary dad's line and you'll never know until it's too late. There's just an emptiness, a void. Like part of who you are has been erased, though you can still see some of the smudges. A shadow of something that could have been there.

Sometimes we feel lost and incomplete. Half of a whole. Sometimes we get angry with those that complain about their overbearing fathers. When explaining why you have no idea who your father is, is just one time too many. Sometimes, even hearing the good things our friend's dad's do, simply hurts.

But most of the time I don't think about it. Most of the time it's not a big deal...Most of the time.

Today, I've already given my thanks to those dad's that are currently in my life. Though none are father-figures to me, they're still fathers in their own right that deserve recognition. One of which, is the amazing dad to all five of my babies.

But I wanted to give my support to those of us that have a Father-less Day today. To let you know you're not alone. That even though the circumstances boil down to being crummy and unfair, we can still turn out all right. We will be okay.

Happy Father-less Day from me to you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I myself have only seen my father maybe 3 times in my whole life (will be turning 40). I always thought he was just a figment of my imagination as a child. I miss the idea of him but not the man himself. We will and have survived.