Monday, September 13, 2010

Simplicity is Scary

This move has prompted us to radically scale back belongings. Though, for months and years we've been disparaged over our "things". We know they have begun to rule us. Enjoyment is halted, walking is hindered, spaces become confined, money seeps away with the need for "things". Where does the need to have come from? When are we conditioned to need so much?

I surely don't remember being taught consumerism. I suppose, though, that was the point.

Giving up and letting go, thirty years into my life, is scary. I think to myself somewhat silly though valid questions and thoughts.

"What if I need this and can't afford to get another?"

"How will I do things without the proper tools?"

"I spent money on this. Just to give it away seems foolish."

"What if something happens and I don't have what I need?"

"How can I effectively teach our kids with a smaller library of resources?"

Then changing lifestyles comes with it's own need for things. The tools for new trades, new work and self-sufficiency require things that have been needless in our past lives. I find myself buying galvanized tubs, portable water containers and searching for a low priced clothes wringer. Things I have never had use for until now. Unless I give way to the simplification of our other household items, fitting these new utilitarian necessities into our shrinking home is impossible.

Though some things are being switched out for more useful, longer lasting, multipurpose items, the release of things we've grown dependant -but don't need- is still overwhelming and scary. And I will admit there are things I don't want to give up. Things I'm not ready to let go. Each day, week, month brings me closer to finding closure. To understand that giving up doesn't mean having less. Each step towards simplicity brings me a step closer to the things I truly want in life. Even if at first it seems frightening.

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