How to argue with a Toddler

Perhaps it's just the age or maybe it has something to do with her being fourth in line, but whatever the case my amicable little Emmy has developed a sense of "ME". This has morphed my tiny tot into a force to be reckoned with and reckon I try.

Emmy protesting her flower girl duties...at a wedding.

Twenty-five pounds of pure determination toddles around my house every day referring to herself in the third person. Frustration levels rise when she fights me for "Emmy's turn" with the mop or vacuum. Her obsessive need to tidy is limited only to her desire to trip me up, for after her turn with the selected cleaning implement, I turn around to find chewed up carrots spit in a fifteen foot radius across the front room. Does her OCD extend to cleaning her own messes? No. I get a firm "Mommy dew it." as she rushes away to get into other mischief. No one can even remotely mention anything to do with the bath or in less time than it takes to diaper a baby, she'll have stripped and started chanting "Emmy baff! bafftub! Where my bubbles at?" It takes a good ten minutes to talk her down and it usually involves some sort of bribe.

Emmy trying to steal my camera.

Here's a little excerpt from a recent conversation:

Emmy -Mommy where my bankies at? (bankies means blankets)
Me- They're in your bed
Emmy - Yoo go geddem.
Me- No, you get them, they're your blankies.
Emmy- In my beg gail bed? (big girl bed.)
Me - yeah, upstairs.
Emmy - Mommy geddem.
Me - No, you get them.
Emmy- ALEX! You get Emmy's bankies in my beg gail bed?
Alex - yeah, I'll get them.
Me - Nice.

Oh, how I love her though! She went through a phase recently that when asked what sound any particular animal made she would reply "Thank you!" Though bossy and frustrating, her and her animal friends at least have manners. And how on Earth couldn't I melt when she gets the aforementioned bankies and says with wide hazel eyes "Mommy cuddle you?" or says "I wuv you"?

Then that time she pee'd on the floor after spending twenty minutes sitting on her brand new pink potty with not a drop expelled and says "I sorry" it's hard to find an argument strong enough to battle this curly haired not-quite-a-baby-but-still-not-a-big-kid girl.

Emmy in a snail shell with one of the blankies.

So, while I probably misled many of you thinking I had the answer-it-all for battling toddler wiles the short answer is: you just can't.