This past year has been everything; difficult, depressing, scary, lonely, fun, crazy, loving and even sometimes easy. So much has happened too. Alex lost his first two teeth, Max was born, Emmy fell of the bunkbeds and had a minor concussion, Alex graduated from first grade and Livi just started. We celebrated birthdays and holidays.
Memories that are now bittersweet laced with the sadness of a missing spouse and father. How many times had I wished he was here, through the good and the bad? I'd have given my eyeteeth just to be able to grab his hand to hang on for some of this crazy ride.
We were lucky in some respects. Communication has advanced so much we were able to keep in contact through email, messenger, postal mail and phone calls. He could even text me. I think I owe a large chunk of my sanity to technology. If we were in WWI or WWII I don't know if I would have survived not hearing from him with that kind of frequency.
Then again, my friend from church, Helen, who lived through it said to me "You just get up everyday and do what needs to be done." Which I suppose, I have done over these last 400 days. It makes me wonder how much more we can endure than we give ourselves credit for.
There are things I think to myself "No way could I handle that!" but could I really if I had to? Probably. If I have to, but I'd rather not find out.
Now, we're just trying to get through these last long weeks bubbling with anticipation and excitement, practically to overflowing as we wait, as patiently as a kid in a candy store for him to come home.